The sun is roasting on your face. It’s a scorching hot day and you’re late for work, “C’mon, when is the bus going to arrive?” “Did I miss it?” as you look down you are almost certain that the sweat beading off of you turns to steam as it hits the pavement. Sometimes it seems like the whole world is against you. “I bet that bus driver decided to take an early lunch break and not even bother finishing off his final route?” You realise, you are feeling incredibly irritated and annoyed! Then you hear, “Yeah I am pretty sure Natalie Barr is a Lizard Person”. As you turn your head, you see a young dishevelled-looking man with dark brown eyes and black hair. “Don’t be ridiculous", you say…. The young man continues with a rapid-fire series of disjointed thoughts “The Illuminati, and Freemasons are conspiring towards a One World Order… seeking to reduce the population of the Earth”, “Cancer is spread by big-pharma to make you buy their medication”. “Sometimes the vaccines they give us to keep us from discovering the truth cause mental conditions instead!” “The Powers that Be, are treating us like slaves, soon we’ll all have microchips in our hands for them to track our every move”. His hands are shaking, his voice is tense… he looks distressed, but oddly also self-satisfied that he’s figured out something that you clearly haven’t.

If a person is filled with insecurities, and has an unstable sense of self, they may begin to form and manifest a belief system of grandiose design, “Ariana Grande and I had lunch last week”; “I was once asked out by Brad Pitt but had to turn him down as I was flying out to Bali that weekend”; “I can read the past life of a pot plant”; “I have the secrets to the universe that will alleviate your depression, all you need is meditation but no food and water”.

A sense of helplessness will reasonably lead one to question “what is going on”? Humans are naturally curious and were it not for asking questions throughout history we would not be the advanced civilization we are today. However, a deep-seated sense of unhappiness, one of feeling lonely and empty, a sense of not being in control leads the human mind to further postulate; to stack questions of “why” upon “why” upon “why”; to become the “modern Socrates of Why”. "Why am I not as popular as I want to be?" "Why am I not in the highest paying job?" "Why am I not the smartest?" At some point along this unhappiness-spawned hierarchy of questions, the human mind forgoes the simple and logical in favour of discounting the entire system as invalid; where all the facts and rules are wrong. Reasonably, Carl Sagan said “claims that cannot be tested, assertions immune to disproof are veridically worthless, whatever value they may have in inspiring us or in exciting our sense of wonder”. And equally a breakthrough in scientific discovery came when Galileo asked questions and challenged why we presumed the solar-system revolved around the Earth in a geocentric orbit? But Galileo was arguing not against facts, but against belief. Today, instead, we have flat-Earthers who ask a similar question of our planet, but they argue against facts as if they were beliefs; and therein lies the crux of their reasoning – that if they’re challenging beliefs, then surely their own beliefs are as valid as any other.

Unfortunately, discounting facts as beliefs leads to neither great intellect nor contentment. Instead, turning the world upside down with a new belief-system is pointless if you’re the only one who believes it; this requires a daily commitment from you to prove that the facts others “believe” are a sham and people should be angry, scared, terrified and perhaps… alternatively follow YOU and your belief-system.

Finally you are being heard and have friends among like-minded individuals who heap attention on you, perhaps even some level of fame. You may even start receiving donations from the fellow vulnerable and insecure who have been equally unhappy with the facts and are looking for something more palatable to believe in, whether it’s a flat planet to live on or a Belle Gibson App which cures brain-cancer through the promotion of healthy eating. Money, fame, stardom; there is a twinkle in your eye, you have created a fantasy sense of self and believe on a subconscious level that you will never experience rejection or helplessness. You have control over people’s belief systems or at least have their attention and have developed a charismatic acceptance in social settings.

These people are what I like to call Special Snowflakes. They are the truly self-righteous, in the very literal definition of the word meaning they believe they are correct regardless of the evidence and they need to be considered special and supported for that which they believe. On the severe end of the spectrum, these are cult leaders, in the moderate range are conspiracy theorists such as Flat-Earthers, and on the mild end are people who perhaps simply exaggerate their “connections” and general self-importance in social settings.

Special-snowflake-syndrome in the short-term breeds purpose, connection and a sense of belonging. However, the truth is stateless and lies are not. In the long-term trying to manage a belief-system contrary to the facts breeds fear and distress in the worry of getting caught in a lie, and in some cases psychological trauma. Cool-aid anyone? (believe it or not, a generic-brand substitute “Flavour-Aide” was actually what they consumed in that historical tragedy – a typical case of special-snowflake-syndrome; never quite the real thing).

The take home message:

Empower yourself through being authentic, develop goals, nurture your talents and your strengths in this world. Begin to recognise that you do not have to turn the world upside down to be loved, to be recognised, and to gain self-confidence and purpose. Cognitive Behavioural Techniques will lead you to long term sustainability of contentment within yourself and the world around you with far less work compared to rewriting all the rules.

Be yourself in a world that is real, even if it means obstacles and rejection along the way. You can change your world and the world around you without reimagining everything known about it. Start asking questions within before you question everything without. This will equal a smoother life and a pleasant journey of self-discovery. Self-discovery is a lifetime commitment; seeking a better version of you, each day through personal, psychological and professional development. There is no finish line to this; enjoy the journey. The world is not against you; there are systems in place to simply ensure we can all coexist on this planet. It is not perfect, but neither are you. Don’t work on perfection, work and focus on improvement. Start with yourself, and the world will follow.

Your bus arrives… and right on time for the later bus. I guess it’s really your fault you were late for work after all.

A psychologist is a highly trained health professional and can assist with mental health conditions and general well-being and self-improvement. Make an Appointment Today